at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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