Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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