Rock
Scissors
Fuck
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
