i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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