erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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