Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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