I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
