so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
