I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize