Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
