How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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