super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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