I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
