Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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