K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
