Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Randomize
