There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
