i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
