If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
