we have officially lost it.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
