Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Two words: blizzard sex
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
