I think i peed on brittanys purse
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
They have beer where we have blood.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
