DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
