I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
