wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
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