this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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