i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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