I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
