WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
The Olympian is in my bed
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
