You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
