And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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