thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
