Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
