I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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