I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize