so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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