Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Send help, water and tortillas.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
