Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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