so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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