like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Randomize
