i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
We need to get me chipped asap
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
