Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
