haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
