I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
