I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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