I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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