You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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