i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
