Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
