hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
