Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
