So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
