Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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