i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Floor bacon is actually really good
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
