he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
