You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
My penis needs a shock collar
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
