wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
