and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
