Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
