just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
