There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
