you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize