people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
